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I would wake up in the night and punch the floor in anguish, homoerotic fear and shame... I killed him a thousand times over in my mind.... His form extinguished by the hood of my car raging into him outside of his jock club, the mma fighting club where I'd first gotten homoerotic thoughts about him. I held it back and back and back... until one day, I thrust my index finger into my rectum and imagined myself dominated by all those who had flaunted their large male members. Even then, though, my killing thoughts lingered. I swore when I went off to college I would come back and kill him in the evening hours, my trusty green car battering the life out of him as I spun my tires away back to Maryland, awaiting a call that my friend had been killed, by a stranger no less. But I didn't. I stayed my killing hand. I turned my thoughts to homosexual images of buff, bulging men muscles, glittering in tan, surreal Apollo rooms, while I shut myself in my college dormroom. That night, that first. I started my car and rolled down the windows. My phone connected to my car’s Bluetooth and began playing some music. I pulled out of my parking spot and began driving home. Focusing on the road was more difficult than I thought it would be. My body was still aroused and the effects of the slime were not allowing it to subside. My nipples strained at their soft fabric prison. I found my mind wandering back to my attack, to the bliss of it. Just thinking about the creature seemed to increase the arousal I was already feeling. I had become so distracted that I nearly missed the turn for my street. Quickly hitting the brakes and turning hard I was able to make the turn. My car continued down the street until I turned left into my driveway. I hit the remote and the garage door began to open. I pulled my car into the garage and closed the door behind me. I sat there in my car composing myself, almost trying to convince myself that nothing had happened. Ten minutes had passed until.
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